Police officer, Cop, whatever you want to call me, I don't care. You see, I love doing this job. I feel like I have tickets to the greatest show on earth. And this thread is for me, in my own self-centered way, to celebrate being a cop. Join me, will you?
Years ago, when I was still wet behind the ears and thought I could make a difference to the country, I actually sat down and figured out how many years I was responsible for sending people to jail for. Since then, it hasn't mattered as much, if at all. Now, I look at the bigger picture, which is, of course, made up of all the smaller pictures.
The stupidity of criminals will never cease to amaze me. Like the guy who called PSP because he got punched in the face at the Duncannon truck stop. We went to back PSP up. The "victim" told us his story, and the suspect admitted that he punched the "victim" right in the kisser. The suspect told us that the only reason he did this was because the "victim" had asked to borrow a lighter to smoke some crack, and then as he walked away, asked the 14 year old sister of the suspect if she wanted to get high and "party." Well, the "victim" failed to mention this to us, and as we went to ask him about it, he ran away, into the woods. As PSP checked the tag on his motorcycle, they discovered that he had cut the corner off of another tag and taped it onto his tag. That was classic. I still laugh about it to this day. That right there is job security.
I have also learned that (and pay attention here) it is very, very important to close your blinds when the lights are on in your house. I cannot begin to count how many people that I have seen, who are just walking around their house, stark ass naked, as I drive past. To the hot chicks, I say "Thank you." To the hairy assed guys, I say, "PUT SOME FREAKING CLOTHES ON ALREADY!!!!" And to the couple in Mt. Holly Springs, I say, "Well done."
I have learned that cops can be sarcastic, ball-busting jokers, and can take it just as well as we give it. Like the time that I put the rainbow sticker on a magnet and stuck it to my chief deputy's truck. By the way, if your chief deputy was the best man at a bomb technician's wedding, this MAY not be the best idea in the world. So I've heard. And alarm clocks with very soft beeps and drop ceilings combined make for great humor when you have a paranoid supervisor.
I have also tasted the salty tears as I listened to the Chief of Police answer his son's final roll call, and still tear up as I think of it.
I have seen people at their worst, delivering death notifications on holidays, knocking on festively decorated doors and being greeted with a smile and a laugh, leaving an hour later, feeling like shit, red-eyed and downcast, because we are, in fact, human.
I have seen people at their best, like the eight year old girl who called 911 because her mommy wasn't waking up. She was scared, and she was brave, and she saved her mother's life. No gift in the world can be as sweet as the courage to overcome the terror that she felt that day.
This job, the people that I've worked with, the things that I've done and seen, they have taught me that the three C's of police work, Common Sense, Courtesy, and Compassion, are also the three C's of life.
I have learned to go to the bathroom when you can, eat when you can, and to never, ever get between a K9 and a suspect. I've learned that a great arrest on the street can look like a goatfuck in court if it's not properly documented, and that a lot of defense attorneys dislike their clients more then we do.
I've laughed, I've cried, and I'd do each and every thing over again in a heartbeat if I had to.
I love this job.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
50 Rules
As some of you may know, I enjoy watching the hit TV show, NCIS, on CBS, (Tuesdays at 8, for those that need the plug), and the main character has 50 Rules that he lives by. (51, now.) Inspired by this, I sat down and wrote out 50 rules that I try to follow as I live my life. They are numbered more for convenience than importance, some are paraphrased or downright stolen from other, wiser, sources, and some have no meaning to anyone outside of law enforcement. I present them for your reading pleasure.
1.) Always be the type of person that you want your friends to say that you were at your funeral.
2.) Loyalty should be one of your top priorities. If you expect people to be loyal to you, be loyal to them.
3.) Never be unreachable. Because someone, somewhere, is relying on you. (Paraphrased from NCIS)
4.) Never be unnecessarily mean. Never be cruel if you can help it.
5.) Always be nicer than you really have to be.
6.) Show respect to others, until they prove that they are no longer worthy of it.
7.) If you have to lie, add some truth. It makes it easier to believe. (Paraphrased from NCIS)
8.) You can be scared. Still, do what you have to do to succeed.
9.) Never go anywhere without a knife. And a gun. And spare ammo. And another knife. (Paraphrased from NCIS)
10.) There are no rules in the kitchen or the bedroom. (As long as both of you are adults.)
11.) Do the right thing because it's the right thing to do.
12.) Accept responsibility for your actions, right, wrong, or in between.
13.) Never lie on an official document, or in court. If you screwed up, admit it, and correct it if you can. If you didn't get it right the first time, you will the next time.
14.) Admit when you are wrong, apologize, and move on. (This is the opposite of the rule about never apologizing. The strong can show that they are truly sorry for a mistake. )
15.) But never apologize for doing your job.
16.) It is your job to know your job. So learn it, all aspects of it. Even what isn't covered by it.
17.) Take those few extra minutes to run spell-check, and then re-read your work, because the little things can make a big difference.
18.) It is better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission. (Blatently stolen from NCIS)
19.) Your best may not be good enough, but that's never a reason to give anything less. (Stolen from NCIS: LA)
20.) Never believe your own reputation.
21.) Always have a plan. And a plan B.
22.) There is always someone out there who is better, faster, or stronger. So train more.
23.) Doing just "Good enough" isn't always good enough. But sometimes perfection is more of a pain in the ass than it's worth.
24.) "That's not my job" is a cop-out.
25.) Always expect more of yourself than others do of you.
26.) It is better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
27.) It's not being redundant, it's being prepared. AKA: Two is one, and one is none.
28.) When things end, be it life, love, or a job, whatever, be mature, wish the best for others, and walk away.
29.) Just because you have had a bad day does not mean that anyone else needs to know that. Leave home at home, leave work at work, and don't misdirect your anger or frustration.
30.) Insanity is best defined as doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. Don't be insane.
31.) If you are not happy, do whatever you need to do to make yourself happy. It's not anyone else's job to make you happy. It is your job to make you happy.
32.) It is also your job to make sure that you go home safely at the end of your day.
33.) Violence is sometimes the answer, unfortunately. But never towards the innocent, or anyone that you love.
34.) Make sure that you can trust your friends. If you can't, then get new friends.
35.) Sometimes, shit happens. It's how you react to said shit that determines your character.
36.) All is fair in love and war, except playing with your lover's self-esteem, or playing head games. That's never fair.
37.) Be yourself. And never let anyone convince you that it's not good enough, and don't let someone else dictate your self-esteem or self-worth.
38.) Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
39.) Have one hobby that is not work-related.
40.) Eat when you can and pee when you can. That hostage situation isn't going to wait until you go potty or get a snack.
41.) Never close your mind to learning new things.
42.) But don't forget those things that you have learned up until now.
43.) Sometimes you have to say no to everyone else to take care of yourself, so you can take care of everyone else again later.
44.) It's okay to have a lazy day, even at work, as long as it's the exception to the rule.
45.) It's okay to have regrets. But then, accept what has been and what is, and move on.
46.) Don't look down, don't look back. You don't have to move straight, but you should always move forward.
47.) Work hard, then play just as hard, or harder.
48.) A good plan, executed now, is better than a perfect plan that never gets executed. (Paraphrased from Gen. George S. Patton)
49.) Don't ever, EVER, give up. That final smack of the rock against the mountain lion's head may be the one that is needed to make him let go, and go find an easier meal to screw with.
50.) Just remember, "Cause of Death" is a line that has to be filled in somehow on that form. So live your life to the fullest, each and every day.
1.) Always be the type of person that you want your friends to say that you were at your funeral.
2.) Loyalty should be one of your top priorities. If you expect people to be loyal to you, be loyal to them.
3.) Never be unreachable. Because someone, somewhere, is relying on you. (Paraphrased from NCIS)
4.) Never be unnecessarily mean. Never be cruel if you can help it.
5.) Always be nicer than you really have to be.
6.) Show respect to others, until they prove that they are no longer worthy of it.
7.) If you have to lie, add some truth. It makes it easier to believe. (Paraphrased from NCIS)
8.) You can be scared. Still, do what you have to do to succeed.
9.) Never go anywhere without a knife. And a gun. And spare ammo. And another knife. (Paraphrased from NCIS)
10.) There are no rules in the kitchen or the bedroom. (As long as both of you are adults.)
11.) Do the right thing because it's the right thing to do.
12.) Accept responsibility for your actions, right, wrong, or in between.
13.) Never lie on an official document, or in court. If you screwed up, admit it, and correct it if you can. If you didn't get it right the first time, you will the next time.
14.) Admit when you are wrong, apologize, and move on. (This is the opposite of the rule about never apologizing. The strong can show that they are truly sorry for a mistake. )
15.) But never apologize for doing your job.
16.) It is your job to know your job. So learn it, all aspects of it. Even what isn't covered by it.
17.) Take those few extra minutes to run spell-check, and then re-read your work, because the little things can make a big difference.
18.) It is better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission. (Blatently stolen from NCIS)
19.) Your best may not be good enough, but that's never a reason to give anything less. (Stolen from NCIS: LA)
20.) Never believe your own reputation.
21.) Always have a plan. And a plan B.
22.) There is always someone out there who is better, faster, or stronger. So train more.
23.) Doing just "Good enough" isn't always good enough. But sometimes perfection is more of a pain in the ass than it's worth.
24.) "That's not my job" is a cop-out.
25.) Always expect more of yourself than others do of you.
26.) It is better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
27.) It's not being redundant, it's being prepared. AKA: Two is one, and one is none.
28.) When things end, be it life, love, or a job, whatever, be mature, wish the best for others, and walk away.
29.) Just because you have had a bad day does not mean that anyone else needs to know that. Leave home at home, leave work at work, and don't misdirect your anger or frustration.
30.) Insanity is best defined as doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. Don't be insane.
31.) If you are not happy, do whatever you need to do to make yourself happy. It's not anyone else's job to make you happy. It is your job to make you happy.
32.) It is also your job to make sure that you go home safely at the end of your day.
33.) Violence is sometimes the answer, unfortunately. But never towards the innocent, or anyone that you love.
34.) Make sure that you can trust your friends. If you can't, then get new friends.
35.) Sometimes, shit happens. It's how you react to said shit that determines your character.
36.) All is fair in love and war, except playing with your lover's self-esteem, or playing head games. That's never fair.
37.) Be yourself. And never let anyone convince you that it's not good enough, and don't let someone else dictate your self-esteem or self-worth.
38.) Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
39.) Have one hobby that is not work-related.
40.) Eat when you can and pee when you can. That hostage situation isn't going to wait until you go potty or get a snack.
41.) Never close your mind to learning new things.
42.) But don't forget those things that you have learned up until now.
43.) Sometimes you have to say no to everyone else to take care of yourself, so you can take care of everyone else again later.
44.) It's okay to have a lazy day, even at work, as long as it's the exception to the rule.
45.) It's okay to have regrets. But then, accept what has been and what is, and move on.
46.) Don't look down, don't look back. You don't have to move straight, but you should always move forward.
47.) Work hard, then play just as hard, or harder.
48.) A good plan, executed now, is better than a perfect plan that never gets executed. (Paraphrased from Gen. George S. Patton)
49.) Don't ever, EVER, give up. That final smack of the rock against the mountain lion's head may be the one that is needed to make him let go, and go find an easier meal to screw with.
50.) Just remember, "Cause of Death" is a line that has to be filled in somehow on that form. So live your life to the fullest, each and every day.
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